This year I turned 50. I’m still in a bit of shock and recently had my 50 1/2 celebration so I’m really closer to 51 now. My 49th year didn’t go as planned and that’s ok, actually…better than ok.
I started that year in a long term relationship. There was talk of marriage, moving in, and joining our families. I’ve always been a noncommittal person but the relationship felt different, good, and eventually it felt right to commit to this other person. Just when I thought we were settling into a new future together, things shifted, and we went separate ways.
At the time of the breakup I was fast approaching 50 and began to worry about facing the future alone. I looked around my house at things that needed to be fixed or changed and thought, now I won’t have help. I thought of the big “what if’s”. What if I get hurt and can’t drive, or worse, get very sick, who would be there to help me. For the first time I worried about facing my future and facing it without a partner.
Then began the journey to me and the year of Megan.
The year of Megan was filled with adventures. I traveled to the east and west coasts solo to ski. I traveled with friends and family to ski. I took summer road trips around and across the country with friends and my daughter. I skied 19 of the 20 new slopes I needed for my challenge.
Skiing and traveling were there to show me the strength I have inside. My friends and family were there to support me and encourage me. This past year of chasing my 50 slopes helped me to accept this change and more importantly, to be truly happy about finding me again.
This year of Megan I found myself surrounded by a loving and caring community. It seems that by the time you’re fifty you know what you want in a friend and you know what you don’t want. I am very lucky, I have friends who reach out to go for a run, for a drink, for a round of golf, and of course to go ski. I have friends who reach out to chat and visit. I have friends who came to my home to celebrate my 50 years and cleaned up for me after the party since I enjoyed too many rounds with the shotski. 😊 It feels good to be surrounded by love.
The year of Megan also reminded me about who I am. I’ve discovered that I am madly in love…this time with me.
Growing up people would say it’s easier to face life when you have love. I used to argue against that because I understood it to mean love from a partner or a husband. I finally understand what that means. I do feel like I can face anything because I am surrounded by a community of love, including myself.
Going through change and challenges is difficult. Accepting change and challenges, knowing you have love, can be quite liberating.
The men may come and go but my loving community (and my skis) will last forever. 💕